Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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