Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
