He uses pillows to masturbate.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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