get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
