this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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