his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize