i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
