So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
