i just wanna soil my oats bro
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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