how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
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I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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