Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
