The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
ttyl tear gas
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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