break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
