Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
