Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
