i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
