i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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