that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
