it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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