I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
