you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize