we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
