who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize