everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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