I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
