Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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