I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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