love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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