SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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