You're completely useless in the revolution.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
