That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
