THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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