areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
