Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
