it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
