I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
