What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In other news, I just burned my penis
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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