Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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