Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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