Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
