We're like a lot better than the average bears
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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