shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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