its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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