I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
