rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize