And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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