the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
