I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
