You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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