is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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