"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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