3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
