tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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