I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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