The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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