Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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