Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
