i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
